Alternatives to ABA
When my daughter was diagnosed with autism her doctor recommended 20+ hours of ABA a week. She had sensory sensitivities, and some speech needs, but I saw no reason to change her behaviors (which is the goal of ABA). When I went to my daughter's first IEP meeting I simply said "no thank you" to ABA services. It has taken me a while to fully comprehend that the alternative to ABA, is simply no ABA. This is because autism is not a disease to be treated, or behaviors to be hidden. It is just a natural variation in human diversity. Although autism itself needs no treatment there are services and supports that can still be useful for autistic children.
Over the years I've chosen services that support my daughter's needs. For the first four years she had occupational therapy for sensory needs and to help with balance, and holding a pencil. She also had speech to improve her pragmatic language and to learn neurotypical social skills. I made it clear to her that her straightforward social style was just as valid but that it was helpful to understand others’ expectations and communication styles.
When she no longer needed these supports she moved to a 504 plan. Now her accommodations are classroom based, including light covers over fluorescent lights for her light sensitivity. I have also included specific requests in the parent portion of her IEP. Over the years, I have requested that stims be allowed (physical movements that help with self regulation, more info here and here) and that the use of hand-over-hand teaching methods would not be allowed (because the couple of times a teacher did this she was embarrassed). I have found that a responsive approach to my daughter's needs, has worked well for her over the years.
In addition, I would recommend:
Joining the Autism Inclusivity Facebook Group where autistic adults answer questions from the parents of autistic children
Early access to augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) device for students who are non speaking
Therapy or art therapy for anxiety, depression, and trauma
A helpful resource for parents to help identify what might be causing certain distress reactions